Letter to The Legion of Greed

Instead of facing eastward, cursing at the top of my lungs and then breaking down into a puddle of hot mess, I thought I’d address the situation head on.

I think it was probably ok to speak for the 99% of WE THE PEOPLE who are wondering what the hell’s going on. I’m pretty sure I covered what needs to be said. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong on any of these points.

Because WE obviously weren’t getting OUR message across, I felt it appropriate to use a fourth grade vocabulary to make sure I/WE would be understood. I didn’t want to confuse them. I hate not being able to use my adult words. Makes me a little bit nuttier than usual.

I think this the beginning of a new purpose. Who knew an idiot would save me from descending into the depths of the hell that ridiculously long term unemployment was dragging me into. Hallelujah.